If only you love her

I wonder why do people fall in love? How can people easily say those words, "I love you". Are they aware on the true meaning of love? Do they know the consequences when they give their heart to someone else? Why do people easily give their heart and soul to someone?

Sometimes I just sit back and stay in a peaceful coffee shop wondering how people can carry all the responsibilities of loving someone. Actually for me, it is really hard to love someone especially when you can't love yourself in the first place. How can you love a girl when all she thinks about are her insecurities? How can you deal with all of her shitty thoughts about life? Can you even look at her and just simply smile because you know deep down in your heart that "Damn i really love this girl".

Don't tell a girl you love her when you can't wait to take her virginity. Don't ever tell a girl you love her when you can't stand by her side everytime she's having a hard time to choose where to eat, what make up to buy or which dress looks better on her. Don't tell a girl you love her when you are not ready to hear her complains in life. Don't tell a girl you love her if you can't remind her how beautiful she is every morning. Don't tell a girl you love her if you never seen her cry. Don't tell a girl you love her if you're not ready to listen to her never ending dramas. Don't tell a girl you love her if you're not ready to hold her hand when she's frightened. Don't tell a girl you love her if you're not ready to see her wounds and scars. Lastly, don't tell a girl you love her if can't love her imperfections.

♥,

J

(photo not mine)

Just maybe

Maybe he isn't interested to know you more
Maybe he isn't capable to make you happy
Maybe he doesn't accept you for who you are
Maybe he doesn't see you as someone that should be treated as a princess
Maybe he can't tell you how beautiful you are when you smile
Maybe he doesn't appreciate all the little things you do for him
Maybe he doesn't care too much about you
Maybe he isn't making efforts to let you stay
Maybe he can't set his priorities straight
Maybe he isn't prepared to take responsibilities
Maybe he can't picture you walking down the aisle
Maybe he can't see you as a mother of his child
Maybe he can't include you in his plans and goals in life
Maybe he can't be a responsible partner
Maybe he can't clarify to himself what true love means
Maybe he can't love himself as much as you love him
Maybe he isn't tired, he just want to take a rest
Maybe he can't lie to himself telling you that he loves you
Maybe when he says I love you he can't look into your eyes
Maybe he was just too afraid knowing that you can do anything for him while he cannot
Maybe he doesn't love you in a way that you wanted him to love you
Maybe he just fall out of love
Lastly, maybe he isn't the one

♥,

J

(photo not mine)

Brilliante Mendoza: Taklub (Trap)

I've been a huge fan of independent films ever since I study Communication. We've done a lot of film analysis and such. I was forced to watch films that's not my type and later on identify such parts and analyze it. At first I was like "How am I going to watch this movie? I can't even understand the story. I'm not interested in this genre!" Yeah, stuff like that. But I realized that I should embrace all genres and I shouldn't limit myself for watching films that only suits my interest. Honestly, I'm more into local movies than international ones because I believe that I, we, should appreciate our very own masterpiece. These days, indie films are creating a huge impact among the audience because mainstream films are becoming off the interest of some viewers. Personally, there are few mainstream films that I consider as a good one. Unlike indie films, it seems to be great all the time although my knowledge about indie films are not that much. I've watched few indie films in television and I'm wanting to watch film festivals like Cinemalaya and Sinag Maynila but I always ended up not attending any of those festivals. And I don't know why.

Last February 12, a film appreciation workshop with Brilliante Mendoza was held at cinema 2 in SM Bacoor. At first we watched one of his award winning film which is Taklub (Trap) starring Nora Aunor, Julio Diaz, Aaron Rivera, Lou Veloso and many more. The film focus on three different people (Bebeth, Larry, Erwin) with three different stories after supertyphoon Yolanda (Haiyan) hit the city of Tacloban. The film revolves around the three characters narrating their life after the supertyphoon and their grief for the lost of their family members. Bebeth (Nora Aunor) who's been looking for her three children whose not confirmed if their still alive or not. She's just hoping for the DNA results that turned out negative at the end. Larry (Julio Diaz) who's wife died in the typhoon just focus on his devotion by carrying a life-size cross and roaming around the city. Erwin (Aaron Rivera) trying his best to give his brother and sister a good life. He then hide to his sister that their parents died due to the supertyphoon.

Tis the season to spread the love!

It's the most sweetest time of the year! ♥ I bet everyone became busy before this day comes. Girls and especially boys became active planning for their surprises to their loved ones. Creating love letters, buying chocolates, decorating some cute stuff, spreading petals at the floor with matching candles and balloons and of course bouquet of flowers and giant teddy bear every girl wants!! (Yeah. I want that too but I'm more into letters than bears. I think?) Okay, those things I mentioned are cute. That's the typical celebration of Valentines day among the youth today.  When I was a little younger I used to see Valentines as a day for extravagant surprises and "buwis-buhay" efforts. For now, I'm more into formal dates in a hotel or restaurant or just an out of town. I also feel loved and special with just a simple rose and a love letter. I used to be a fan of bouquet of flowers, everytime i see them I'm like "Uhh. That is so sweet!"But now, one rose is enough for me. Hahahaha! ☺ As long as I'm with the most special persons in my life in a serene and peaceful place, I am completely happy.

Today is February 14, we all have different ways to celebrate this day. We all have different beliefs and perspectives on how are we going to make this day extra special with our loved ones. Let's just spread the love sweeties! Happy Heart's Day everyone! Hope you had a great time with your family, friends and special someone!

♥,

J

(Photo not mine)

Ain't number one

How to be number one? I'm pretty sure everyone's goal is to be the number one, to be at the top in various fields that we are taking.

I've been known in our class for being one of the competitive student. Well sometimes I get annoyed when they keep on teasing me for being competitive because I'm not really aiming to compete with them. I'm just doing my job to pass a certain subject. They always see me being prepared and organized everytime the class is about to start. Actually, I AM NOT. I am just a regular student coming in class without any preparations. I am just a normal student who can't understand the lessons. I am just a typical student who's failing in quizzes and exams. Just like you. Just like every student.

To tell you honestly, I want to be on top. I want my name to be posted as one of the Dean's Lister. But I know I can't. I am not as intelligent as our batch's top one, two, three. I just passed exams, quizzes, activities and such because I am completely and absolutely studying and memorizing the lectures on my notebook and hand outs. If I will not study, I will fail. That's why I admire those students for passing their subjects without giving full effort to study their lessons. You know, "matalino talaga".

Now I realized, it's not about being the number one. It's not about being the highest in exams. It's not about having grades that is 90 and above. It's not just about the grades. You know you're number one when you achieve something that you didn't expect. You've always been number one. You do not have to compete with others. You do not have to let everyone know that you belong to a star section or Dean's Lister. You don't need anyone for any validation that you're on the top. You're already number one. Believe in yourself. You are the best.

♥,

J

(photo not mine)